97 Posts Roundup From All Dennys Blogs

*** Your reading choices from news, politics, poetry, spiritual, health and weight loss tips, party food and chocolate recipes, science and lots of humor from funny videos to political cartoons. Catch up on your fav blogs or get a new fav! :)


Photo by d u y q u @ flickr


From Denny: This post is number 601 for The Social Poets blog, my first! Woo! Hoo! :) Who knew where blogging would take me - and you - this past year?

I'm finally getting back into regular blog writing. I took a couple of weeks off early in January to slow down the daily writing on 12 blogs for a well deserved rest. Just when I was ready to resume writing the Haiti earthquake hit. Then the three week saga started with trying to find my cousin who had been visiting Haiti at the time of the earthquake disaster - to donate her time as a music teacher. After three weeks she was given a cell phone and talked to her mother and sister.

Of course, as usual, worried family is not so good on details, not thinking like a journalist, and I still don't know her exact location. Sounds like she's in some tent city on some soccer field, recovered from vague details of bad bruising and a not described concussion from falling debris as she ran out of the music school where she was giving a concert. Apparently, one of her students died, though again, no details or name given. She has gathered several of her other students with her - again no names or updates on their status - since they are separated from their parents or may not know the status of their parents.

Well, one detail I know for sure is that my cousin Jeanne will do all she can to help the children around her to keep up their attitudes and play some music for everyone to cheer them as well.

I just wanted to take the time to thank all of you, my subscribers and blogging friends, for checking back on all these blogs for updates on Jeanne and new posts too. Some of the blogs have languished for daily posts. The past week I've worked at getting caught up and created this post for a roundup of posts on all the blogs so you can get caught up easily too. Again, thanks so much for showing up to check out each blog as it's much appreciated!




Photo by Ahmed Rabea @ flickr


From The Social Poets:


Libations Friday Poetry

*** Blog Carnival for Poets - create a poem about orphans and your poem linked here: Angels Left Behind: Orphans of the World poem - Libations Friday 29 Jan 2010 - promote your blog!

Three Endings and One Beginning Poem - Libations Friday 5 Feb 2010 - *** 4 life stories of people I have known: 3 committed suicide, 1 reclaimed their life.

I Wait, poem for Haiti - Libations Friday 22 Jan 2010 - *** Told from the point of view of an earthquake survivor buried underneath the rubble awaiting rescue. Dedicated to the people of the Haiti earthquake disaster of 12 Jan 2010.

Humor:


*** Cheeky Quotes Wednesdays ***

Funny Reincarnation and Religion Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day 3 Feb 2010

Inspiring Quotes About Disaster - Cheeky Quote Day 20 Jan 2010



*** Roundup of Late Night Shows *** Mondays

Roundup of Late Night Funnies 1 Feb 2010

Roundup of Late Night Funnies 25 Jan 2010



*** Political Cartoons Saturdays ***

Editorial Cartoons This Week 30 Jan 2010

Editorial Cartoons This Week - 23 Jan 2010



Social Issues News:

Good News: Child Abuse Drops Dramatically

67 Charities to Donate: Helping Haiti Heal

Mission of Hope Run by American in Haiti

This Weeks Posts @ The Social Poets 19 Jan 2010

Popular Posts 2010 at The Social Poets and Thank You!

Popular Posts 2009 and Thank You: The Social Poets





Dennys Global Politics where I pull together several days of clips of ongoing stories into one post:


Haiti News:


What Structural Engineers See For Haitis Recovery

Summary: Surviviors Process as They Rebuild Lives

Lucky Haiti Orphans Found Open Arms, New Homes



Politics in America:


How Wall Street Killed the Middle Class in America

Obamas Political Showdown with Republicans: Full Length Video and Text

Political Showdown: Obama in Face-Off with House Republicans

Prez Obamas 1st State of the Union Speech Text and Video

American Public Angry at Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office




From Beautiful Illustrated Quotations for thought-provoking quotes and commentary:

Let Your Silent Voice Sing

How Do Dreamers Create Our World?

How Are Our Lives Like An Open Book?

Beautiful Quotes

Popular Posts 2009 at the BIQ Quotes Blog




Photo by Tambako the Jaguar @ flickr


The Healing Waters:

Popular Posts 2009 at The Healing Waters

Famous Nutritionist Joy Bauer Offers 5 Dieting Tips for Success

Clean Hidden Areas of Your Home, Avoid Allergy Causing Mold and Mildew

Weight Loss: Not So Secret Secrets Anyone Can Do

How Many Poisons in Our Food Supply?

Healing Remedies: Food in Your Fridge

Healing Power of Plants and Herbs

6 Good Friends You Need to Live a Long Life

Reclaim Your Life, Reclaim Your Joy Now

Updating Your Home: Decorating Dilemmas Solved

Bobbi Browns Makeup Tips, Great Beauty Buys for 2010

Skinny Foods to Help Us Slim Those Excess Pounds

Good News: Successful Potato Peeler Salesman Joe Ades

Trim Off Obesity: 3 Inspiring Stories, Nutritionist Answers Diet Questions




Photo by Image Editor @ flickr


The Soul Calendar for science:


Last Resort Climate Fix: Geo-Engineering

Videos: Explain Rare Haiti Earthquake

Rare Annular Solar Eclipse





Romancing The Chocolate for more than chocolate and party recipes:


4 Fun Marti Gras and Super Bowl Recipes

Sweet Tooth Alert: Sandra Lees Chocolate Truffles

Chef Sandra Lees Easy Frozen Chocolate Cookie Cake

Chocolate Cake Recipes at Romancing The Chocolate

How to Cook Perfect Al Dente Pasta, Giadas Simple Recipe

Funny Quotes About Chocolate

Oozing with 3 Cheeses and Cheap: White Lasagna

Winter Brain Food: Parmigiano Pasta with Mushrooms

Swapping Food Choices for Less Fat and Calories to Trim off holiday pounds

Valentines Day: Impressive Four Chocolates Cake

Kid Pleasing Easy Brownie Peanut Butter Cupcakes

Popular Posts 2009 at Romancing The Chocolate and Thank You!




Photo of New Orleans in French Quarter on Bourbon Street by Lyndi&Jason @ flickr

GEAUX SAINTS!!! The Saints win the Super Bowl by 31 to 17 over the Colts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Their first Super Bowl win!!!!! It's going to be the first time Marti Gras becomes a nine day celebration down in New Orleans! :)

Comfort Food From Louisiana for more party ideas for a crowd:

Popular Posts 2009 at Comfort Food From Louisiana, Thank YOU!

6 Super Bowl Junk Food Recipes

9 Easy Marti Gras and Super Bowl Eats

Chef Sandra Lees Quick Baby Back Ribs

Super Bowl Food: Jumbo Shrimp and Gouda Grits

5 Tasty and Weird Bacon Recipes

Secrets to the Tastiest Tailgating Party

Newest Fish Trend: Silverfin Asian Carp, 2 Recipes

New Orleans Saints Celebration Menu: Jambalaya and Crawfish Gold

Paula Deens Shrimp Gumbo Casserole

Easy Winter Comfort Food: Beef Burgundy

Cajun Comfort Food Chases Away Winter Cold, 3 Recipes

5 Recipes: Lemon Chicken, Portobello Fries and Sides

8 Easy Yummy New Years Recipes to Warm Your Guests




Photo by Kjunstorms @ flickr

From Visual Insights, a photo blog:

14 Soothing Tranquil Water Photos

11 Great Quotes and Sayings Photos

14 Photos: Our Love Affair with Weird Hair

12 Funny Things You Can Do Outside With Shrubs

Artist Inspires With HOPE Sculpture

Spectacular Photos of Eyes




Photo by Tambako the Jaguar @ flickr

From Dennys Funny Quotes get a laugh:

Funny Quotes From Curmudgeons: These Guys Need to Lighten Up!

15 Wild Cartoons on Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office

Political Cartoons: Obamas State of the Union

Its Official: Folks Bring Back Thiefing Republicans, Hand Senate Seat to Them

Popular Posts 2009 of Dennys Funny Quotes and Thank YOU!

5 Funny Quotes About Time

Funny Music Video of How Americans Sound to Foreigners

Funny New Years Resolutions Cartoons

Funny Quotes About Coffee

Funny Quotes About Jobs and Work

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

Jimmy Kimmels Dumbest 911 Calls of the Decade

Funny Quotes: Hollywood Actress Mae West

New Austrian Zoo Photographer is Fruit Happy Orangutan




Habenero pepper water splash photo by Tambako the Jaguar @ flickr


From Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd humor blog:

Popular Posts 2009 at OOOO Humor Blog, Thank You!

Funny Video: The Daily Show Declares Scott Brown the 45th President of The United States

Funny Video: Colbert Says Obama Is Doing Nothing and Destroying Everything

Funny Video: Mocking Rush, Robertson, Maddow Who Mock Haiti

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Lampoons Massachusetts Senate Election

Funny Video: Jon Stewart Lampoons Wall Street Bonuses


*** Get a good laugh, watch a funny video, catch up on politics and ongoing news stories, read a good poem, consider some deep thoughts, check out the science and health news, get tips for weight loss and collect some fabulous ideas for great food so you have a good reason to diet! Enjoy life, not war. Works for me! :) Thanks for visiting the blogs this year!

5 Funny Quotes About Time

Time? Where are you, you little rascal? I'll go shoot me some Time to keep!

From Denny: Enjoy these funny quotes as a sampling of today's Mind Candy! For more grins at funny photos and quotes, go here: Funny Quotes About Time - Cheeky Quote Day! 13 Jan 2010


Quotes

* When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. - Marcel Achard

* Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks. - Euripides

* I would I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

* I've been on a calendar, but never on time. - Marilyn Monroe

* Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. -Robert Frost

: "Play it again, Sam!"

*** To enjoy the full post, full of funny photos too:
Funny Quotes About Time - Cheeky Quote Day! 13 Jan 2010

*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, huge hug to current subscribers and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email! :)

Funny New Years Quotes

From Denny: Here's a fun sampling of the funny quotes and more I posted about New Year's. For the full post, check out The Social Poets blog: Funny New Years Quotes, Smarter New Years Resolution Tips - Cheeky Quote Day! 29 Dec 2009.

New Years Quotes

* Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

* The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P. J. O'Rourke

* An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

* May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams

* New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot! Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

New Year's Poem

Happy New Year!!

A New Years toast to love and laughter
and happily ever after

A health to you, a wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.

Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening and
Live every day as if it were your last. - Anonymous

Funny New Year's Resolutions

* But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year old habits. - Andre Gide

* Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

* Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others. - Anonymous



*** For the full post, check out The Social Poets blog, Funny New Years Quotes, Smarter New Years Resolution Tips - Cheeky Quote Day! 29 Dec 2009.

*** ALSO: Rare Blue Moon Shines on New Years Eve, Origin of 6 Meanings

8 Easy Yummy New Years Recipes to Warm Your Guests

Fun Kid Recipes, Activities Keep Them Busy For Holidays


*** THANKS for visiting!

Funny Miss Speak Known as Malapropisms

From Denny: The following is a fun excerpt from Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets. For the full post, go here.

*** Those funny slips of the tongue that come out weird and ridiculous!

From Denny: OK, we have all done it at one time or another. The key to good communication and understanding with others is to, well, avoid those slips of the tongue – or brain – whichever the case may be and speak something that comes out as absolutely weird and ridiculous nonsense.

What’s a malapropism? It’s one of those Freudian nuisances that have long plagued humanity – and politicians. We will get to that in a moment. A malapropism is really the unintentional use of a wrong word or strings of words into a phrase (compounding the problem) that causes confusion with the listeners as to what you truly meant to utter.

OK, so it’s unintentional and a humorous misuse or distortion of the word or phrase. A malapropism is especially effective because though it sounds a lot like the intended word so that it ends up ludicrously wrong in the context! What’s worse is if you make a habit of talking like this.



Some typographer having fun: I Shot the Serif ---- sheriff

A quick bit of history trivia for you on the origin of the word malapropism… OK, all you show-offs quit waving your hands because you already know the answer. Malapropism came into our language a few centuries ago from the pen of writer Richard Sheridan. His character, Mrs. Malaprop, was known for these speech antics in his 1775 play named The Rivals.

Here are some of her fun malapropisms and the correct word follows. If want to study how to write malapropisms this is a great example of how to write them:

"...promise to forget this fellow - to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory." -------------- obliterate

"O, he will dissolve my mystery!" ------- resolve

"He is the very pine-apple of politeness!" ------- pinnacle

"I have since laid Sir Anthony's preposition before her;" ------- proposition

"Oh! it gives me the hydrostatics to such a degree." -------- hysterics

"I hope you will represent her to the captain as an object not altogether illegible." ------- eligible

"...she might reprehend the true meaning of what she is saying." ------- comprehend

"...she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile." ------- alligator

"I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, that my affluence over my niece is very small." ------- influence

"Why, murder's the matter! slaughter's the matter! killing's the matter! - but he can tell you the perpendiculars." ------- particulars

"Nay, no delusions to the past - Lydia is convinced;" ------- allusions

"...behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow;" ------- intercepted

"I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him;" ------- desisted

"His physiognomy so grammatical!" ------- phraseology

"I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair;" ------- exposed

"I am sorry to say, she seems resolved to decline every particle that I enjoin her." ------- article

"...if ever you betray what you are entrusted with... you forfeit my malevolence for ever..." ------- benevolence

"Your being Sir Anthony's son, captain, would itself be a sufficient accommodation;" ------- recommendation

"Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!" -------- reprehend/apprehend, oracular/vernacular, derangement/arrangement, epitaphs/epithets



*** For the full post of funny malapropisms - that my British friends call Colemanballs after a sports announcer prone to slips of the tongue - and the examples of former President Bush in all his Miss Speak glory, video of short clips included, visit Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets, go here.





*** Fun and intriguing informative science articles written in my usual cheeky voice:

Check Out Cosmic Generator Producing Energy at Rate of 100K Suns

Slamming Low-Ride Satellite Maps Earths Magnetic Field

*** Thanks for visiting! And if you are a blogger make sure to copy these fun free Christmas clip arts to use on your blog!

Catch Up on This Weeks 51 Posts At Dennys Blogs 17 Nov 2009

From Denny: After a year of blogging, I turned around and suddenly realized I've been producing a lot of content. Nor am I silly enough to think you check in every day with every blog. :) So, in case you missed anything this week, here's a menu of various posts all in one place for an easy read - and bookmark - so you can read when you feel like it:

From The Social Poets:

Roundup of Sunday Funnies 16 Nov 2009

Life Advice Poem by Rudyard Kipling

This Weeks Editorial Cartoons 14 Nov 2009

Reflections of That Moment - Libations Friday! 13 Nov 2009

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

Funny Money Advice - Cheeky Quote Day! 11 Nov 2009

Musicians Are Territorial Animals, Funny Post by David Thomas

Roundup of Late Night Funnies, Cartoons 9 Nov 2009

From the funny posts at Dennys Funny Quotes and Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd:


From Dennys Funny Quotes:

Funny Secret to Longevity Photo and Story

10 Funny Love Quotes, Funny Cat Photo

Funny Money Advice, Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets

Video: Weirdest American Gluttony Foods

3 Paradoxically Funny Head Scratching Quotes

Awww, 7 Funny Dog Photos to Make You Laugh

What's stupidly popular at Dennys Funny Quotes these days:

42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon

25 Weird Coffee Trivia to Astound and Amuse You

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning

5 Monday Morning Posts to Get You Laughing!

From Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd:

9 Funny Socially Inappropriate Store Signs - what gets lost in translation from Chinese or Japanese into English, some really tacky ones!

Ouch! Best Love Story in Three Pictures: Prez Bush and Sec Condi Rice - a bit silly.

Outrageous Video: Overview of World Censorship on the Web - serious look at how content is heavily censored and in which countries, interesting overview.

First Lady Michelle Obama on Leno Show - how the Obamas don't take themselves too seriously.

Odd News Video: Liquor Warehouse Implodes in Russia

Weird News: Man in Breathalizer Costume Arrested by Police

10 Outrageous Glenn Beck Quotes That Prove Insanity

From the food blogs, Romancing The Chocolate and Comfort Food From Louisiana:

From Romancing The Chocolate:

Savory Chocolate Recipe: Mini Hamburger Sliders with Sauce

Chocolate Trivia from Horror Director Hitchcock

Video: Cool Food Gifts for the Holidays, Southern Sweet Chocolate Coconut Pie Recipe

3 Quick Awesome Chocolate Recipes for the Holidays

Chocolate Trivia - Who Are the Biggest Chocolate Gluttons on the Planet?

Warm Chocolate Pudding Cake

From Comfort Food From Louisiana:

Video and Recipes: Holiday Challah and Ciabatta Stuffings, Vegetarian and Sausage

Cajun Joke: Boat For Sale by Beaudreaux and Thibodeaux

Video and Recipes: 3 Fabulous New Orleans Sweets

Cajun Joke: Boudreaux and Thibodeaux Fix Destroyed New Orleans Levee

Video: Unbelievable, OK, Weird, Foods and Recipes

Cajun Joke: Boudreaux and Thibodeaux Play Golf

Video and Recipes: Lobster Grits Polenta, Turkey Andouille Sausage Grits Casserole

Coca-Cola Glazed Baby Back Ribs

From Beautiful Illustrated Quotations:

Life is a Gift!

Whats Your Attitude Toward Life?

Veterans Day Quote, Links to Memorial Poems, Peace Quotes

3 Wonderful Quotes About Joy

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

How Do You Know If You Have a Weak Mind?

When Something Inside You Dies, Do You Know How to Renew Your Life?

Do You Sell Your Soul For Others Admiration?

From The Healing Waters:

Video: Tim McGraw Making a Difference

Video: Halle Berry Making a Difference for Battered Women

The Perfect Work Quote to Keep Your Head Straight on Monday Mornings

Video: Awareness, and Gibran Quote

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! :)

4 Funny Posts and 4 Yummy Recipes

Cartoon by Todd Zapoli

Dennys Funny Quotes: 42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon

The Social Poets: Roundup of Sunday Funnies: Hillary's Stressed, Obama Dances

Romancing The Chocolate: Funny Chocolate Quote 17 Oct 2009

Recipe: Fun Halloween Oreo Spider Cookies

Todays Funny Chocolate Quote 15 Oct 2009

Recipe: Velvet Chocolate Cheesecake

Comfort Food From Louisiana: 3 Recipes: 3-Step Slow Cooker Baby Back Ribs, Sweet Tangy Slaw, Sweet Potato Roasted Garlic Turnovers

Easy Key West Ribs From the Slow Cooker

*** Apologies to anyone who read this post earlier, now corrected.

10 Funny Quotes, Late Night Show Funnies, Spiritual Thought of the Day, Why Obama Deserves Nobel Peace Prize

Pomegranate Photo by geishaboy500 @ flickr

What's going on at some of the other blogs today:

This Weeks Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Biden's Nobel Hairpiece Prize

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning

What is the Simplest Good Spirituality and Why?

Everyone is Wondering What the Nobel Peace Prize Committee Saw in President Obama

Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets! 16 September 2009

Photo by *L*u*z*a* @ flickr

From Denny: Here's an idea of what Cheeky Quote Day is like over at The Social Poets, enjoy!

***

Since so much is up in the air with the economy worldwide, and my audience is an international one (BTW, thank you everyone for your great support!), I thought I’d put up some quotes about retirement. After all, we all are dreaming about that “one day” of what we would like to do without anyone telling us it can’t be done!

While I was driving all day Monday out of town on sales calls I saw a lot of travel trailers and motor homes towing SUVs. I sure wondered where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there. I’ve been seeing those happy people motoring down the road for several months now and it sure got my curiosity up and turned my mind to the subject of retirement.

The first comedian from the past that came to mind concerning retirement was George Burns. He was quite the character and well loved in America. As he aged he made a new career out of standing on stage with an unlit cigar, a sly grin, and cracked jokes in his understated manner until his late nineties. He was in show business all his life beginning in Vaudeville.

George Burns isn’t the only comedian to craft a whole routine around the subject of retirement. The following are all kinds of perspectives about what it is like to retire from your job – or what you thought it might be like to retire! :) Get a grin and think good thoughts for your future.

Quotes

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. - George Burns

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. – Anonymous

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. - Gene Perret

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. - Gene Perret

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income. - Gene Perret

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons

The money's no better in retirement but the hours are! - Anonymous

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. - Ella Harris

I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps. - Merri Brownworth

I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension! – Anonymous

Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it. - Abigail Charleson

Retirement: World's longest coffee break. – Anonymous

Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself. - Hartman Jule

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. – Anonymous

Life begins at retirement. – Anonymous

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. – Anonymous

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. - J. Lubbock

When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired. – Anonymous

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman, prize fighter

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball. - Gene Perret

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller, comedian

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin, actor, comedian, singer

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. - Malcolm Forbes

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, cartoonist

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. - Harry Mahtar

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. - Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

Retire from work, but not from life. - M.K. Soni

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Asquith

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. - Ernest Hemingway, writer

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Anonymous

In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. – Anonymous

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever." - Gene Perret

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. - Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

*** Comedy writer Gene Perret has been writing television comedy since the 1960’s. For more about him, go here.

Have a great work week, everyone! Keep your head down and your attitude looking up! You never know when you will get to retire and add some cheeky quotes of your own to the funny category of life…